Surviving the Holidays with Anxiety




(picture is from Barcelona, Spain 2023)
 



I chose to rest after the election.  


As I slowly return to being more present, I suddenly realized oh shit, the holiday season is here!


As someone who has anxiety and occasional depression, the holidays can be bittersweet.  I enjoy the holidays and family time, but I despise the insincerity of it too.  Suddenly, people who are normally assholes or passive-aggressive become saints.  Disingenuous people make me confused because I am thinking, “who are you?  Like really?”


Nonetheless, we shall endure, survive and thrive.


If you are like me need help navigating the season of eating, drinking and sometimes fickleness of people make you scratch your head, then here is how you can make it to 2025:


  1. Decide what you would like to do or not like to do during this season 

    1. You do not have to go if it makes you miserable, cry uncontrollably in your car or harm yourself. If you family or friend options are limited, it’s okay to volunteer for the day or just be alone and watch shitty movies. Nobody is here to judge if you want to watch Starship Troopers or drink in the gorgeous Aldis Hodge on Prime's Alex Cross.

  2. Do what you need to protect your peace

    1. My rule of thumb is that as long as it’s legal and doesn't cause anyone harm, then it’s okay.  Listen to music, relax, check in with your therapist. In addition to my monthly therapy appointments, I make playlists for my favorite shows and movies, bake, cook and read.

  3. It’s okay for people to shitty but, that doesn’t mean they get to be shitty to you 

    1. You are not mandated to engage, defend or perform to appease others.  Silence is golden.

  4. Understand not all fights are necessary 

    1. People can be fully committed to being the villain, victim or living a life with you in a certain fixture.  You can disengage and walk away.  My favorite to exist an argument is, "this is not helpful or productive at this time." Think of you "pull cable" needs and exit strategies.

  5. Assertiveness does not equal aggression 

    1. We can set boundaries but saying “I don’t want to talk about that now,” “I don’t feel comfortable with what you said,” or “please don’t.” You don’t have to cuss out someone unless they deserve it, but you can state your feelings and leave if you are not respected.  We should not have to pull others to respect us or break ourselves to make sure others are comfortable. If you say, "this hurts me" and a person continues then our goal is not to control them but mainly keep ourselves safe, so you can leave, exit the area or give yourself a break to separate from that person.

  6. Holidays contain snacking and food 

    1. As a cheese addict, you can indulge without guilt or shame.  It’s a holiday.  If you find yourself experiencing shame for consuming food, check in with your emotions and what’s promoting those thoughts.

  7. You can accept gifts then donate them or repurpose them 

    1. I do not like every gift ever given to me.  It’s not helpful for me to convey my dislike so I politely say thank you and consider options for donation or repurposed goals.

  8. If you dislike clutter, consider not tangible gifts 

    1. This might be experiences, time with a friend, lover or relative or a coffee.

  9. You can decline invites

    1. Rest.  Part of relationships is understanding we all need space so we can recharge.  We can honor our emotions, be vulnerable with our support system and politely say, “I miss you, love you, but I need to rest today.  We can meet up next month on this day.” 

  10. Be kind to yourself 

    1. No gift, dinner or holiday outfit is worth your sanity.  You are a gift to people who love you.  Be kind to yourself and treat yourself. 


Happy Holidays family, friends and people just reading along :D

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